this morning,
woke up at 4.30 to gave baby a morning call..
bud before i gave her morning call..
i woke up in tears..
had a nightmare that seems so real..

all i can remember is..
i saw her with her ex..
the one that she truly loved..

thinking of the love she had for him..
makes me damn jealous..
that jealousy feel so real..

the pain that my heart was undergoing feels so real..

now,
all my fears are coming back to me..
they are haunting me..
been having sleepless night...

every night..
i have been having nightmare...
just that its not as serious as last night...

seriously,
i just afraid of losing her..

i oso have nightmare,
dreaming of her going clubbing..
she got drunk.
and kanna taken advantage by other guys..
for those who noe me inside out,
they noe i dun like my girlf to be taken advantage by other guys..
or should i say,
no guys will wan to let other guys take advantage of their girlf.
no guys will wan to let their girlf exposed.
guys will noe that..
there are perverts who take upskirts photos.
thats why i kinda feel that..
they should at least wear a shorts when they are wearing skirt.
shorts like FBT.

*sigh*
i'm just so afraid.

and i noe..
i'm possessive..

and i noe
i am being over possessive..

that can be a good and bad thing..

its good because..
it means that she meant a lot to me..
and i really really care about her..
its also means that i truly love her..
compare to all my previous relationship..
i only had that once..
this time..
will be the second time..
i dun wan history to repeat..
i'm sick and tired of all these.

its bad because..
there will be lots of argument and quarrel.
there is gonna be lots of unhappiness...
its all my fault..
i just duno why i cant change that over possessiveness within me..

it happened once..
it happened in my past relationship...
and i told myself i'm not gonna let it happen again..
bud..
in the end...
i still cant manage to change it..
DAMN!!!

really getting sick and tired of all these fears..
why cant they leave me alone..
*sigh*


lost and insecure....
i guess all i can say is i'm sorry..
i tried hard....
a virgo always tends to regret..
however, i dun regret being with u...
bud i regret for the cause of all those unhappiness...

left 8:57 AM