there was something in my mind..
and somethings that i came to realise when i couldn't fall asleep last night..

human nature is some thing so scary..
jealousy and trust is something that is crucial to a relationship..
and why there are murder case like the husband killed their wife or vice verse,
its all the doing of jealousy..

yes..
i am jealous...
cause what happened last night..
the immediate thoughts that came to my mind was..
was she like this when she was with that ex of hers..

i just duno how much i mean to her..
i noe she dun have the time...
i noe she tried hard..

bud how much time does it take a person to tell their love one that they love them in a text.
just a few seconds..
i noe i'm being selfish...
bud who is not..
other than those noble person who were legends..

however,
i'm just a normal guy..
i'm not saint,
some small little things actually mean a lot..

and that small little things doesn't takes up a lot of time..
its just depend on whether u are willing to make that effort to do so.

and i've realise..
the more i grab onto something tightly,
the more it hurts when things goes wrong..

i noe she is gonna get upset when she visit this blog and saw this post..
but its better than bottling up and not letting her noe how i feel..
i noe she dun have the time to tell me how she feel..
all i need is her to be understanding..
and not get upset when i'm upset because of small things..
thats because i dun wan to lose her..
i'm just concern and worried about her..
is that even wrong for me to do so?
dun i have the right to get upset?
i may have over reacted..

thats y i realised that...
i shouldn't grab onto this relationship so tightly.
i should learn to let go of somethings which is beyond my control..

sometimes,
i just feel that,
its all my fault..
because of my selfishness..
we got tgt at the wrong time..
i'm a distraction..
i just wan u to do well for ur studies.
have a better future...

i'm sorry baby!
i do love u a lot..
everytime i think of u..
my heart aches so badly.
and i'm always fighting and struggling to hold back my tears..
the love i have for u is can't be measured..
its more than i have exprienced.

PS: to readers, nothing happened to us.. its just my thoughts, just like what i've said, this blog is just a place for me to dump my negative feelings and thoughts.
and to my baby!
if u happen to read this,
dun think so much..
dun feel upset or anything...
if not i have to lock up this blog.

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