*sigh*

the problem will always be there...
there will never be a future,
when the problem exist.
however,
there is no solution....
only determination..

whenever i tink of the problem..
my heart just aches like there is no tomorrow.

Mayb,
i'll never get to see tomorrow...

Label: Tired.. i tried so hard... soooo hard..

left 1:34 AM

gosh..
i noe i have been letting this blog rot for quite awhile..
bud i'm gonna post today..
why??
cause its a special day~

its OUR 4th Monthsary~~~
there is more to come..
and we're still counting..

there has been a lil prob lately.
i shall not elaborate much..

bud what i can say to her is..

No matter wad it is..
i'll never end this relationship...
i've put all my heart and soul in it..
i'm not gonna see this fall..

at the same time,
you have to do ur part to..
u should noe what i'm referring to..

and i hope,
nothing will change nor will it affect us.
and also the love u have for me will grow deeper..
thats all i wished and hoped for..

baby,
all these while,
i'm still loving u deeply..
i'll always stay by ur side..
till death do us part..
and i swear i mean it..

Label: One Mountain Can't Contain 2 Tigers.

left 10:03 AM

looks like i've gotta find things to do during holiday..
some thing to distract my mind...
knowing the fact that she is gonna be busy with her studies..
so i guess after the end of attachment i have to find a part time job..
and when sch starts,
i probably would have to take up part time job on weekend.
to have an income.

i'm starting to get tired of everything.
i'm exhausted..
gonna collapse any time..

left 11:52 AM

When you are about to give up on something, think of this: Pain is Temporary, Failure is Forever. A marathon is only 5 hours; the glory in completing it is more than 50 years. A Final Year Project is only 6 months; the portfolio is worth more than 60 years. A pregnancy is only 9 months; the lifespan of a life is 90 years. So if you’re in the midst of something painful now, it is just temporary. Giving up is forever.

i've got this quote from Low Kay Hwa.
a writer for goodybook,
which i just bought 5 books from them.
this quote is quite meaningful.

it just something that i wanna tell her.
baby,
endure for another 4 months.
i noe ur feeling stressed by all the work and exams that u have.
just try ur best!
dun give up!
endure this pain,
it will be over soon,
suffer now is better than suffer later.
efforts now,
rewards tomorrow.
JIAYOU!!!

left 9:15 AM

Right now,
i'm working..
bud i had nothing to do.
so i went to Goody books to find something to read.
I came upon this book "To Forget You"
it's something similar to what she went through in the past.

while reading.
things just starts flashing into my mind.
memories.

the story is about a couple who broke up despite being tgt for 7 and a half years.
i could only read 5 chapters as it only show the preview of the book.

what came into my mind was..
what if..
one day we were to be seperated..
what will happened to us?
its an ending which i hope and pray that our story will not end up with.

then what came next was,
last night,
after we hang up,
while trying to keep myself wake till 1.30 to give u a wake up call.
i read through those cards that u made,
the messages that i saved.

those moments that we shared.
the ups and downs that we faced.
the scenes of the first time we met.
some vivid memory of those msges that we sent after the first time we met.
then those surprises that u gave by popping out of no where to visit me while i'm working.
those mistakes that i made,
the time we spent.
the feeling of our first kiss.
the feeling of being drunk by ur kisses and hugs.
everything just flashes through my mind.

at that point of time,
u had much more time to spare than now.
those were the times that i would carve a silly smile on my face whenever i received and read ur msges.
its not that now i wun.
bud its not as much as before.

i'm just so afraid that time will break us apart.

i noe u dun have the time now.
i understand.
thats why i dun expect any thing.
i'll do whatever i can to help you.
to cheer u up.
to encourage u.
though those encouragement i gave is being repeated.
i really duno what else i can do or say.
if you see this.
i noe what ur gonna say.
u wan me dun say anything..
just wan my understanding,
which u already have.

i noe ur tired from studying,
and i'm also tired after a long day of work.
trying to make extra effort to wake u up.
but i always failed to do so.
either i fell asleep,
if not i do things until i forgot about the time.

when ur stress,
i could only prove u with my listening ears.
seeing u so stress up,
it hurts me to see u like this.
every night before i sleep,
i mean when those times that i din fall asleep.
although almost every night i fall asleep,
i image of u being stressed up,
my heart will ache so painfully that tears roll down.
feeling so worthless,
so useless.
the feeling of how a handicap person will feel.

i'm sorry.
i noe that ur tired of hearing this.
and also tired of me thinking negatively.
bud all i wan to say is.
thats the way i'm born to be.
i did tried to stop thinking negatively,
although it succeed.
bud after awhile,
it just come back again.
in this case,
u shouldn't be upset or show me attitude.
cause u have to accept that fact that i'm like that.

yes.
like what u have said in the card,
sometimes i do dun like ur attitude.
bud what can i do.
bud to accept it.
cause ur the one that i love.
loving someone is not about changing them.
bud to accept them for who they are.

In the midst of the population,
i've found you.
In the race against time,
i'm with you.
In the time that we spent,
i felt you.
In the moments that we spent,
i treasure it.
In the opportunity that is given,
i grab it.
In the dreams at night,
i see it.
In the aisle of a church,
I promised you,
In the promises that i made,
I vowed to love you,
I vowed to take care of you,
I vowed to be by your side in times of ups and downs,
I vowed to walk this journey with you,
till death do us part.

seriously,
image of you has nv left my mind for a single moment.
wadever i do.
i'm always tinking of you.
missing you.
i noe u noe that i missed you.


Labels: My weakness is... you.
So is my Strength.

left 10:52 AM

A quiz that i took on face book.

its about love language.

here is the result that i've got.


Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved. Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

left 11:56 AM

alright..
its been quite a while since i last updated this..

firstly, i've this bad news..
everyone will be ending their attachment 2 weeks later..
however,
mine will end 4 weeks later..
just because i took a day off one the last week of my attachment.
so my supervisor asked me to extend till the end of aug.
i've gt no choice,
i can't bring myself to reject him..
so i've to endure for another 2 weeks..

secondly,
baby gave me a card for our 3rd monthsary..
i love it alot..
every card that she made for me..
i treasure it..
cause its my everything..

thirdly,
i extremely detest myself..
when i looked into the mirror,
i felt so disgusted by the monster i see.
such a selfish monster..

baby has lots of work undone,
yet,
i wasted a whole afternoon of hers.
which she could have completed some work.

i felt so guilty,
felt so bad..
i can't help but to blame myself..
i noe by saying sorry it doesn't help..
but there is nothing else i can do..

felt so useless..
wad a f****** useless and self-centered boyf i am.

my heart ache extremely,
now that we have to cut down the days we get to see each other..
from 2-3 days to 1 day.
and..
according to wat she wrote in the card..
its true..
we haven been talking much lately.
as she have to do her work..

when she is stress.
i tried to encourage her..
cheer her up..
but everytime i try..
i only make things worst.
what kind of boyf am i?

everytime she is tired and wanted to take short nap.
i tried to wake her up.
bud i always fell asleep before i could give her a wake up call.
and by getting irritated when we were on phone and she fell asleep..
thats a wrong move..
cause when i fell asleep while on phone.
i bet she also felt the same way as i do.
and i'm not in the position to get irritated..
cause most of the time,
i'm the one who fell asleep..
what kind of boyf am i?

i left her hanging..
i made her stress..
i add problems to her current one.
what kind of boyf i am?

realli felt so disgusted by the actions i do.
i tried real hard,
but i just screwed things up.
*sigh*

ps: i'm utterly sorry baby!
i'm not a good boyf.
i'm not worthy.

Label: simplicity is beauty...

left 1:10 PM